McFadden, author of Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully, encourages open conversations about death, which she says help people live better lives. “Talking about death and mortality can actually help us live more fully,” says McFadden.
Here are the top regrets she hears from her patients — and how we can use these reflections to live a life with fewer regrets:
1. “I wish I had appreciated my health when I had it.”
Many of McFadden’s patients regret not valuing their health more. “They didn’t realize how lucky they were to have a healthy body,” she explains. It reminds us to be grateful for our bodies’ abilities and take care of them while we can.
2. “I wish I hadn’t worked my life away.”
People often realize too late that they spent most of their lives working, leaving little time for joy and connection. While work is necessary for many, McFadden suggests that finding gratitude in everyday moments can bring fulfillment, even when life feels busy.
3. “I wish I had been better in my relationships.”
Regrets around relationships are common, like not saying “sorry” or reconnecting with loved ones. McFadden’s patients often reflect on how they wished they had lived more authentically rather than living according to others’ expectations.
Reflecting on these themes can benefit anyone, not just those facing the end of life. McFadden, who’s shared her insights with over 1.6 million followers on TikTok as “hospice nurse Julie,” believes in the power of confronting mortality.
Daily Exercise for a Regret-Free Life
McFadden suggests asking yourself a simple daily question: “If I knew I had six months to live, what would I change?” This daily reflection helps clarify what truly matters, though she notes it doesn’t mean we must take extreme actions. Instead, it’s about savoring everyday moments — like the taste of coffee, the warmth of sunlight, or the chance to connect with others.
Other experts agree. Internal medicine doctor Shoshana Ungerleider, founder of the End Well Project, encourages people of all ages to reflect on mortality, as it can help us live with greater purpose and appreciation.
End-of-life planning expert Alua Arthur echoes this, highlighting the joy of simple experiences. “One day, we won’t have access to all our senses,” she says, “so how amazing is it to feel things, taste, and enjoy life’s little moments?”
Embracing life’s small joys can remind us to live fully every day — without needing to wait until the end to look back with regret.
This article originally appeared on CNBC.
